The Incident with the Blimp
by True Iceburn
Summary: Okay, just give a guess from the title. C'mon. Guess. Blimp. C'MON PEOPLE, BLIMP! WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT? Chap 2 is up and running away! Oh crap! Catch it someone!
1. Isn't 'blimp' a funny word?

'The Incident with the Blimp' (isn't 'blimp a funny word?')  
  
Vienna: This fanfiction is the property of True Iceburn and Vienna Elvenkat. We do not own Yu-gi-oh, or any of its characters, we only own the plot. Well we might own it. You could never be too sure of anything anymore, what with all the monkey legions around nowadays...  
  
True: In this magical journey we will take the Yu-gi-oh cast on a magical journey on the magical BattleCity Blimp for the most magical journey of their lives that they will never forget in their entire magical journey- ing lives.  
  
Vienna: Did we mention it was going to be a magical journey?  
  
True: It will be the darndest most magical journey of their entire magical journeyed lives.  
  
Vienna: Trust us.  
  
True: We're writers.  
  
Vienna: Magical journey-ing writers! Anyway, we will be co-writing this, you'll always be able to tell my superior chapter, as I am better than True. Okay, I'm doing the first chapter True's doing the second - -  
  
True: You got the odd chapters, Vienna.  
  
Vienna: I'll get you later. Anyway we do not own Yu-gi-oh, or any of its characters, blah, blah, blah....  
  
True: I'm sensing some bitterness to your tone, Vienna. :} Is something the matter?  
  
*Vienna mutters something about YamiYuugi and Seto Kaiba. Retching is heard in the background*  
  
True: *sweatdrops*  
  
Vienna: Anyway, I do not own YamiYuugi or Seto Kaiba. Curse this cruel fate of mine......  
  
True: Can we start the fanfiction already?  
  
Vienna: *crosses arms* Just as soon as I own Yu-gi-oh, Oh, True (pain in the butt)  
  
True: I heard that.  
  
Vienna: You can't have heard it, I'm typing.  
  
True: Can we please just start the fanfiction, now?  
  
Vienna: Well, since you said 'please' . . . no.  
  
Chap. 1  
  
Vienna: Dammit!  
  
True: What's this fanfiction about, anyway?  
  
*Vienna blanks very violently*  
  
True: Uh, hello?  
  
Vienna: * . *  
  
True: Uhh.......  
  
Vienna: WE ARE ON THE F******G BLIMP YOU KNOW THE ONE FROM THE TITLE AND THE ONE YOU KEEP GOING ON ABOUT IDIOT!!!!!  
  
True: O.o  
  
Vienna: Damn straight. Who's writing this, Iceburn? Moi. I'M THE DRIVER!  
  
True: *mutters something bitter about driving off a cliff*  
  
Vienna: I'm writing this, don't make me kill you off.  
  
True: *aghast* You can't kill me off, who'd write the next chapter?  
  
Vienna: *blanks momentarily* I would.  
  
True: *drops dead with laughter* *miraculously comes back to life to deliver next insult* You would not, you're a lazy cow.  
  
Vienna: You're right I guess. I mean, who else would do my dirty work?  
  
True: Damn straight. No, hang on.  
  
Vienna: TOO LATE!!!! Okay, we're in the blimp. Now, all I have to do is find my darling Yami-kun and Seto – chan....  
  
True: Spare me. *gets out big stick*  
  
Vienna: No!! Not till the next chapter, stupid.  
  
True: ( But....  
  
Vienna: Does this look like your chapter?  
  
True: . . . . . .  
  
Vienna: Exactly. Now, where's Yami no Maliknojinkakuu. . . .  
  
True: Please god use their crappy English names okay?  
  
Vienna: No. *glares at everyone*  
  
True: Will you do it for the good of the universe?  
  
Vienna: You're talking to me, here, True. I AM the Universe.  
  
True: Will you do it for a Scooby Snack?  
  
Vienna: No.  
  
True: Two Scooby Snacks?  
  
Vienna: Do I look like the kind of person that can be bribed? Make it three.  
  
True: *Tosses Scooby Snacks to Vienna*  
  
Vienna: Yummers! Okay, where were we?  
  
True: I think I was talking to this major corporation about the benefits of blackmail.  
  
Vienna: O.o If you tell anyone I eat Scooby Snacks I will send my Internet Sharks and Web Spiders after you.  
  
True: *and the flying monkeys* I suppose that includes the foolish reader. Well so be it. You've wasted so much space. I can't believe you, people want to read fanfiction not fanatics!!!  
  
Vienna: People should have a little more faith, Iceburn. And what's this I hear? Could it possibly be the sound of - -  
  
True: Music?  
  
Vienna: *glares*  
  
True: You really should have seen that one coming, V.  
  
V: Shut up. *bonks him on head with magic keyboard* *Climbs up a ladder* *squeals excitedly* I found them! I found them! *runs out* SETOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! MO – HI – TORIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Seto and YamiYuugi stare with giant sweatdrops. Duke gets a heart attack with the immense beauty of V*  
  
T: *chokes on own vomit* *Hits V repeatedly with large stick* *V is unconscious lying spread-eagled on the floor but then she wakes up because she remembers that she's the one writing this chapter and so instead bonks T on the head*  
  
V: Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!!  
  
*blinks all around, except for T because he's unconscious*  
  
V: I'm Vienna Elvenkat!  
  
T: And I'm True Iceburn!  
  
V: You're also unconscious, moron.  
  
T: Huh? Oh, oh yeah. *unconscious*  
  
Seto: Who the heck are you?  
  
V: *blanks* I. JUST. TOLD. YOU.  
  
Mokuba: She's got you there, big brother.  
  
V: *takes out a huge arrow with flashy lights* I'm VIENNA ELVENKAT!!!! Perhaps you've heard of me?  
  
Seto: I'm afraid I've never had the pleasure of associating with an asylum.  
  
V: . Oooo. Love bites.  
  
Joey: Uuuh, I'm probably maybe definitely going to regret asking this, but where did you get that arrow?  
  
V: *winces* I'd prefer not to go into that.  
  
Duke: *fainting*  
  
*Blinking all around*  
  
Vienna: You're having a duel! I'M WATCHING!!!!!!!! *plonks herself down in the middle of the battle field, failing to see that there is a slight problem with her current position. Duel Monsters blink – blink down at her. V hums a happy tune* Hey, what's hold up?  
  
*cue falling*  
  
Yami: Ehhh . . . would you mind moving? *Dark Magician nudges her with staff*  
  
V: *pouts and crosses her arms* On one condition.  
  
*Yami and Seto look scared*  
  
Yami: Wh – what?  
  
V: *grins evilly* I get to dress you up in your Pharaoh costumes!  
  
*Yami and Seto scream like girls* *V waves Magic Keyboard – Yami and Seto go 'poof' and they are instantly transformed into their Pharaoh clothes* *Then they freeze to death as HELLO, THEY ARE STANDING ON A BLIMP AT 10 PM IT IS BOUND TO BE COLD PEOPLE!*  
  
V: *waves magic keyboard* Oh no, you're not getting away that easily.  
  
Yami: *miraculously comes back to life*  
  
Seto: *miraculously comes back to life*  
  
True: Oh God! I can't believe you put them in their Pharaoh clothes!  
  
V: I've decided that you're still unconscious.  
  
True: Hrrm. *unconscious*  
  
V: Hee hee. Okay now where were we?  
  
*Yami and Seto scream*  
  
V: Oh, yeah!  
  
Duke: TAKE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
V: Later Duke – ee!  
  
Duke: *fainting*  
  
V: *finger* Idiot. Now, gentlemen, I believe you were screaming.  
  
Yami: No, we were finished.  
  
Seto: I think we're supposed to be dead now. It is 10pm on top of a blimp, so in all likelihood we should develop hypothermia at any moment now.  
  
V: *pause*  
  
T: Hurry up and do something!  
  
V: I'm working with what I've got here! Okay, okay, hypothermia . . . I can work with that . . . hypothermia . . . I know! Thermal underwear!  
  
*Yami and Seto scream like schoolgirls at a Justin Timberlake concert. Those are pretty high screams, by the way. Not that I would know. I'm basing on the evidence that if the girls at my school scream really loudly when they see a hideous picture of JT, then they would probably die from lack of oxygen to their brains if ever fortunate to actually see him in real life. I really have not preference. Go VILLE!!!!!!*  
  
T: That's it, I can't take any more of this. *bonks V on head*  
  
V: *unconscious* *obviously*  
  
T: *in really deep voice* Hello, children. Mwha! Mwha! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
  
*entire Yu – Gi – Oh cast scream*  
  
T: My turn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
V: Too many dots, True.  
  
T: Right. Got it.  
  
V: Just calm down.  
  
T: Okay. I'm calm. I'm calm. Let's go torture some anime characters!!!!  
  
V: Good. That's calm.  
  
T: MWHA HAHAHA!!!!!!!  
  
*Yugioh cast scream again*  
  
V: Yes, that's calm, True. *sigh* So much to learn . . . . R&R, people!  
  
T: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
*screams from you – know – who*  
  
*chapter ends . . . . . . HERE!!!!*  
  
*or maybe here . . . .*  
  
*no, I like this spot. Yes, this is good! Chapter ends . . . . HERE!!!* 


	2. When Blimps go wrong!

The Incident with the Blimp ~ Chapter 2  
  
True: We do not own Yu-gi-oh, or any other things unless they are of the make – believe category that has foolishly wandered into our brains. We just. Don't. Own. It! But watch this space! Soon we will!  
  
Vienna: And thank you, LadySora, for being our first reviewer! Yays! And as for the chill pill . . . I prefer sugar.  
  
True: Yes . . . sugar . . . neeeeeed suuuugaaaarrr . . . .  
  
Vienna: Suuuuuuuuuugaaaaaaaaaarrr!!! Bleh.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Vienna: Oh, and Authoress formally known as Liz? You want Yami Bakura? Well, just wait my child. Just you wait. Mwha – mwha – mwha hahahahahahahahaha –  
  
~ When Blimps go WRONG!!!  
  
Vienna: - hahahahahahahahaha – hey, did you just cut me off in the middle of my evil laugh?  
  
True: No – one cares. Welcome back True Believers!  
  
Vienna: Shoot me.  
  
True: I, True Iceburn, shall be writing this chapter –  
  
Vienna: We already explained that. In MY chapter.  
  
True: Thou art UNCONSCIOUS.  
  
Vienna: Bleh.  
  
True: Anyway, I apologise for any groans caused due to the previous chapter.  
  
Vienna: You don't mean that.  
  
True: Do I really need to repeat myself?  
  
Vienna: No. You mess up enough just doing it once.  
  
True: *walks over to dark Magician* Can I borrow your staff?  
  
Dark Magician: *violently shakes his head*  
  
True: Oh, c'mon, it's not as if I'm gonna break it!  
  
DarkM: *hisses at True and swips his hand like a cat claw*  
  
True: I know, it's okay, sometimes it's hard to let go. *pats DarkM shoulder understandably* *yoinks staff* YOINK!!!  
  
DarkM: *starts crying*  
  
DarkMGirl: There, there.  
  
*everybody stares*  
  
Tea: What, didn't you know she could talk?  
  
True: Readers, did you know she could talk?  
  
Yuugi: Who are you talking to?  
  
True: O-o;;; Never mind him, readers.  
  
Yuugi: No, seriously. Do you have an aibou?  
  
Vienna: He's talking to the people who watch your every move on televisions. Or in this case, read your every move and ridicule you.  
  
Joey: Waitaminute . . . I'm a movie star?!?!  
  
True: O-o Uhm . . . no, not exactly. . . . .  
  
Joey: I'M A MOVIE STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
True: *bonks Joey on head. Pauses, then bonks Vienna on head* Thou be – ith unconthious. *looks around* Hey! We're not on the blimp anymore! We're on a very high skyscraper! What the hell are you trying to pull Kaiba?  
  
Kaiba: Nothing, you idiotic Cro–Magnon. It's not like I have an actual button that turns the Blimp into a Skyscraper.  
  
Mokuba: Yeah, the closest button we have for that is the button that turns the blimp into a giant hotdog!  
  
Joey: I like hotdogs.  
  
True: You also like being unconscious.  
  
Joey: Um, no, not really.  
  
True: Would you prefer to be falling millions of feet towards the ground?  
  
Joey: If it's towards a hotdog stand, yeah.  
  
Tea: So what's going on? Where are we? What's happening? When will we get back to the blimp? And how –  
  
Vienna: And how could we possibly not give a bigger damn? Find out next time, on 'Zapping Tea's Brain!'  
  
Joey: That sounds like a good show.  
  
Tea: No it doesn't! NO IT DOESN'T!!!!!!!  
  
Vienna: ZZZZZZZAAAAPPPP!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tea: I don't believe it. I've just been zapped!  
  
Kaiba: That's lovely, really, truly, shut up, but can you change us back into our normal clothes now?  
  
Yami: Yeah, it's gotta be at least ten below up here, and I don't think I'm wearing any underpants.  
  
True: Oh, don't worry, you're not in any danger of freezing to death.  
  
Kaiba: *freezes to death*  
  
Yami: *freezes to death*  
  
True: Ah, crud.  
  
Joey: Nope, no underpants.  
  
*True shivers, and waves staff and revives them, also turning them back into their normal clothes*  
  
Yami: Yes!! Leather!! *starts rubbing the leather on his leg*  
  
True: Stop that! Oh for the love of Ra, stop rubbing your leg, you disgusting, irregular, pointy – headed weirdo!  
  
Yami: I'm not weird! I'm special.  
  
True: You poor moron. What else has Vienna told you?  
  
*silence*  
  
True: Okay, let's get back to the blimp.  
  
Vienna: Thy God hath spoken. Bow down to the Almighty - -  
  
True: If you finish that sentence, I will hurt you.  
  
Vienna: Bleh.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Tea: I thought that this was a blimp?  
  
Kaiba: Tea. This is a skyscraper.  
  
Ryou: *sarcastically* Gosh, what gave it away, the skyscraper?  
  
Mokuba: First the clothes, now Ryou's sarcasm. I feel it is my duty to warn you that if you push my brother too far he turns rabid.  
  
Kaiba: Rabid.  
  
Vienna: Bleh.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Tea: So where is the blimp?  
  
True: There's only one way way to find it – and it's so simple that even Vienna could find it!  
  
Vienna: I be on sugar high. Me turn RABID. Bleh.  
  
Duke: Me worship.  
  
True: O.o Me kill myself. No, me kill sister. No. Me take away sugar.  
  
Chocolate + Vienna = RABID  
  
True – Chocolate = Non – RABID sister.  
  
Vienna – (chocolate + True) = ( Vienna.  
  
Mokuba: That cute, but me brother kill if wierdo and wierdette don't find blimp.  
  
Kaiba: Raaaaa – biiiid!  
  
True: Okay, to find blimp, all you must do is . . .  
  
*sings* Follow the Yellow Blimp road!  
  
Tea: Follow the yellow blimp road?  
  
*blinkblink*  
  
True: Follow the yellow blimp road!  
  
*blinkblink*  
  
Vienna: Follow the –  
  
Joey: Follow the –  
  
Yuugi: Follow the –  
  
Yami: Follow the –  
  
Kaiba: Follow the yellow brick road!!!!!  
  
All: KAIBA!!!!!!  
  
Kaiba: RAAAAA – BID!!!!!  
  
All: *back away*  
  
Vienna: Look! Oh my! What does that sign say? Oh my goodness!  
  
Joey: No - - I don't think it says that . . .  
  
Sign: "KEEP OUT – SETO KAIBA'S SECRET BLIMP BASE!"  
  
Only to be entered if :  
  
You are Seto Kaiba.  
  
You are a member of the "I like blimps and Seto Kaiba" club.  
  
You really need to go to bathroom.  
  
Doorman: *stops Vienna and True* Hold it! You two can't enter!  
  
True: Yes we can! Look: 4) You are an evil author bent on manipulating anime charaters into performing embarrassing acts of stupidity. Isn't that right, Vienna?  
  
Vienna: *scribbling furiously* Just a minute, hang on. *pauses* Ehh . . what came after "embarassing acts?"  
  
Doorman: 'Of stupidity.'  
  
Vienna: Right, okay . . . Dammit, True, why do you always have to be so goddamn fancy all the time?!  
  
True: Now, now, Vienna. God's last name isn't 'damn.'  
  
Vienna: All done!  
  
Doorman: Well, then, that's okay. Unfortunately now I have to arrest you for defacing KaibaCorp property.  
  
Vienna: Ah.  
  
True: Shaa – zaam!  
  
Doorman: *blinks*  
  
Vienna: What the hell was that?  
  
True: Nothing, you were supposed to run away while he was distracted.  
  
Vienna: I runned aways.  
  
Doorman: She did. I saw her.  
  
Vienna: See? Bleh.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Vienna: You seem to be making that face a lot, True.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Vienna: Bleh.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Vienna: Bleh.  
  
True: O.o  
  
Vienna: Bleh.  
  
Doorman: O.o  
  
True: RUN!!!!  
  
Vienna: *runs*  
  
True: *runs*  
  
Doorman: Well, they sure got me. So, Mr. Kaiba, what are you here for?  
  
Kaiba: You idiot! Why didn't you stop them?!  
  
Doorman: Uh, hello? Doorman. I'm not a mad author – chaser. If you wanted them stopped, you should have called up the mad author – chasers.  
  
Kaiba: You're fired.  
  
Doorman: Then who'll mind the door?  
  
Kaiba: Phil.  
  
Doorman: What?!?!  
  
Phil: YES!!!  
  
Joey: Who's Phil?  
  
Tea: The coffee man.  
  
Joey: Cool.  
  
Tristan: Look, we're obviously getting somewhere really slowly, so how about instead of all this yapping - *attacks doorman and Phil the Coffee Man*  
  
*they are now unconscious*  
  
Kaiba: You didn't have to beat them up you know.  
  
Tristan: Don't be stupid. Violence is always an appropriate alternative to negotiation. Hey, c'mon, all the major countries do it!  
  
Yuugi: You're not a major country, Tristan.  
  
Tea: Could'a fooled me . . . with that hair . . . .  
  
Duke: *worshipping*  
  
True: *On blimp* All aboard!  
  
Vienna: Quick! You don't want to miss the blimp!  
  
Joey: Hurry! We're gonna miss the blimp!!!!  
  
*All run and board blimp. Grampa Motou runs up *  
  
True: Hey, is it okay if Yuugi goes on a quick blimp ride?  
  
Yuugi: Grandpa! Save me!  
  
Grampa: *completley ignoring Yuugi* Well, I don't know . . . is it safe?  
  
Kaiba: WERE YOU NOT LISTENING TO THE PAST TEN MINUTES?!?!?!?! WE'RE IN THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL, PSYCHOTICALLY DISORDERED SUGAR – POWERED TEENS, AND YOU ASK IF IT'S SAFE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
True: Well, Yuugi doesn't have to come . . . I mean, if he's not MAN enough, that is . . .  
  
Yuugi: I'm plenty man!  
  
Vienna: You're pants don't seem to be correcting you.  
  
True: Eeeeeewwww . . . .  
  
Yuugi: C'mon, Grampa, can't I come?  
  
Grampa: Well, alright.  
  
Yuugi: Yes!  
  
Kaiba: ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Tea: *trying to save Yuugi from his foolish, foolish actions* But what if he gets hurt? What if he . . . falls off the blimp?  
  
Vienna: That is such a great idea!  
  
Tristan: Hey, it could happen.  
  
True: Correction. I WILL happen.  
  
Grampa: Oh, don't worry, Tea, kids his age bounce!  
  
Tristan: What about kids my age?  
  
Grampa: Nope, I'm afraid you'll just fall.  
  
True: And the blimp is taking off . . . no, the other blimp.  
  
Vienna: Okay, now OUR blimp is taking off.  
  
Yuugi: Yay!  
  
Kaiba: YOU MORONIC - -  
  
Vienna: Now, now, Seto. Not in front of Mokuba.  
  
Kaiba: *steps behind Mokuba and begins to swear at Yuugi's stupidity*  
  
*all characters run to observation deck in an attempt to escape the authors wrath, not realising that THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*  
  
True: *pats Yuugi on the back* Well, Yuugi. You got your wish you're on the blimp! *pushes Yuugi over the side* Now you're off the blimp!  
  
Yuugi: I JUST REALISED NOW I COULD HAVE ESCAPED!!!!!!! *screaming abruptly ends with a thud*  
  
Joey: Hey!!! Grampa Yuugi lied! He didn't bounce at all!!!!!  
  
Serenity: Well, maybe he bounced just a little bit.  
  
Tea: Serenity. He didn't bounce.  
  
Kaiba: 'He only just realised!' *slaps head* Is he slower than a tortoise, or is it just me?  
  
Vienna: No, I think he fell pretty quickly for a small guy. Anyway, it's time for the next chapter!  
  
Kaiba: You mean to say that the agony continues?  
  
Vienna: Yeah, baby! But we can't do it without one special character! *snaps fingers and Yuugi's fall rewinds until he is back on blimp*  
  
Yuugi: *shivering* I just fell off a blimp.  
  
Joey: Oh, so he did bounce, it just took a while.  
  
Vienna: Now for the ritual to end the chapter! *bonks True on head with Magic Keyboard* Hah, I bet you forgot about my Magic Keyboard!  
  
Yami Bakura: Actually, I did.  
  
Vienna: Right. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
True: R&R, people!  
  
Yuugi: SAVE US!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vienna: *saves 'us'* There, happy?  
  
Yuugi: Very much so.  
  
Joey: R&R, please! They might consider sparing us if you do!  
  
Vienna: Well, Joey, if y'all are happy believing that . . . . MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Chapter ends here* 


End file.
